the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
