i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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