the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
