Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tornado booty call.. dedication
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
