You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
