You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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