On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
