She's JV to your varsity
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
