I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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