Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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