i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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