ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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