is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
