my room smells like sperm. sweet.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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