Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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