and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
