the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
