I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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