So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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