Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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