i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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