Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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