even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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