I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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