guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
