She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
