That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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