5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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