I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
