He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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