dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
