i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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