It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
