someone owes me an orgasm
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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