Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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