My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wear drunk well.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
