The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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