Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
