Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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