Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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