I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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