Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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