Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
