oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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