After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
