we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
