drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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