party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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