Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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