come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
