hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
