Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
