So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
