Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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