jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
