Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
