So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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