Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
