"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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