I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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