is your mom at the bar?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
