I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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