her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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