Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
